the new catholicism
smileswhf
D: "So, the only one who can come back to life without becoming a zombie is Jesus."
Me: "Did they tell you about zombies in school?"
D: "No I just figured that out on my own."
Me: "Yes, the only one who can come back to life without being a zombie is Jesus."

Whenever I worry about my kid getting religiously brainwashed, she finds her own way of setting my mind at ease.

"Mom" - often mistaken for pack mule
smileswhf

Tags:

Relaxed at last
smileswhf

As we left the restaurant, the girl said, "I grabbed some chicken as a snack for later." In her hand was a gob of fried chicken balls. In my normal life there would have been mom voice and threats to get her to throw it away. Today I was like, uh I guess I have a napkin I can wrap the nasty,greasy chicken bits in. In my pocket. So the vegetarian's skirt will smell like roast beast. Instead I laughed then found a place to sit down until she worked it out.

Tags:

Blast to the past - sorta
smileswhf

Disney world Hollywood sci fi cafe - sit in a car at an old drive thru movie while you eat your veggie burger. Totally cool.

Tags:

They Might Be Giants free download
smileswhf
Hmm, my embed code doesn't seem to be working. I've never really listened to TMBG. This seems like a great time to fix that. They are giving away free downloads of "First Album Live."

clown cereal
smileswhf
The night before last I dreamt about cereal. Clown cereal. Actually I dreamt about a place: a table in a dirty off-white/pale yellow kitchen. There were 2 or 3 other kids there. I was eating marshmallow clown cereal. When I woke up, it was fuzzy but it kept nudging me. Marshmallow clown cereal -- I remember that. And I remember that table in that house. It was the baby sitter "Mary" who lived down the streat from St. Anthony's church where my brothers went to school. 1969. I was 4. And the clown cereal was real.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaboom_%28breakfast_cereal%29

how to pass a joint
smileswhf
My brother Roger is 5 years older than I. When I was a kid, he would always smoke a joint while we were driving any where. It became very important to him that I learn how to pass a joint in a car to a driver who is doing 70mph on the freeway. This involves positioning the joint up near the radio controls and holding it in such a way that you maximize the grab space for the driver. It's a complicated thing to learn when you are 11. And who knew I would ever have a use for this skill. Today, we had 75lbs of power supplies delivered to a super computer that needs to have a final benchmark number available by end of day tomorrow in order to be considered for the top 500 list. 75lbs of power supplies and 1 poor, over-worked Dell guy to install them. I'm like "you need bodies? I can get you bodies." I came up to the office, cancelled the Friday morning staff meeting, scrounged up screwdrivers for everyone who didn't have one and set up a power supply installation assembly line down in the machine room. What does this have in common with passing a joint in a car doing 70 on the freeway? It turns out that I am really good at setting up and supervising the supply line. As I stack power supplies and chassis for the guys to work on, I just naturallly stack them for easy grab-ability. Years of being trained via burnt fingers that when you pass parts, you should make them easy to grab.

ahh, finally...
smileswhf
One day when my child was 20 months old, she started screaming every day. I thought, "Ah, this must be the terrible twos. I can handle this." Then she turned 2 and she kept screaming every day. Then she turned 3 and she kept screaming every day. I started asking the parents around me why no one ever told me about the screaming. I mean, I so would never have had a kid if anyone had told me about the screaming. She even upped her game to include the classic throwing herself on the floor and beating her fists. It was about 2.5 years into this when I woke up and realized that it wasn't children. It was just her. This might be the state of my life for years to come: get screamed at over breakfast, go to work and get told my work is not living up to standards, go pick my kid up and get screamed at, cook dinner (she likes to eat so there is usually a respite over dinner) and then get screamed at again trying to get her to bed. This was depressing to me. Then she turned 4 and the screaming continued. Her personal best was 5 temper tantrums before 9am on a saturday. On.A.Saturday! I understand those women who get up one day, pack a suitcase and leave. The screaming is like getting stabbed in the brain with an ice pick over and over and over. Then last month while J was at a conference in France, she woke up and there was no screaming. She rubbed a couple of brain cells together and it was over. 3 years exactly. Now I look at my little girl with the lellow blonde hair and big brown eyes and her little angelic face and I feel like I missed out on something. And I did miss out on something. I missed out on enjoying being a parent because every day, week after week after week of screaming and fighting with her to do the simplest things. It's a pity she didn't stop before she broke her mother in half. Or maybe that was the goal....

humble bundle 3
smileswhf
Humble Bundle 3. Pay what you want. Support charity. Get seven exceptional titles. Pay $15 or more to unlock Homeland written by Cory Doctorow and narrated by Wil Wheaton.

https://www.humblebundle.com/

soundsupply deep elm drop
smileswhf
10 albums from Deep Elm Record's amazing catalog
Deep Elm Records has built a label that is home to countless amazing bands and helped a passionate community of music fans discover new artists while remaining 100% independent. We are honored to celebrate their 18 years in the music scene with a Drop containing 10 of their essential and most influential albums, including the very first Emo Diaries compilation that helped introduce a then unknown band called Jimmy Eat World. Get the Soundsupply + Deep Elm Records Drop featuring must-have albums of bands from Deep Elm catalogue including Appleseed Cast, Lights & Motion, Athletics, Moonlit Sailor, Les Sages, This Drama, Slowride, Benton Falls, Latterman, and The Emo Diaries! All of this for only $15 at www.soundsupply.com

You are viewing smileswhf